Wednesday, 13 April 2011

An Unexpected New World

There's a verse in a musical by Jason Robert Brown called "Songs for a New World" that goes, "A new world calls across the ocean/ A new world calls across the sky/ A new world whispers in the shadows/ Time to fly! Time to fly!" I have always loved this song. At the beginning of this wonderful semester abroad, I used the first line as the "description" for this blog. I felt that it exactly expressed everything I was feeling about the impending adventure. When I look back a few months at younger, pre-London Me, I'm truly amazed at how this new world sucked me in, and how incredibly sad I will be to leave it. I'm also amazed at how that verse applies in more ways than I ever imagined it would.

When I first stepped off the plane at Heathrow, I was so tired and groggy I could hardly think. It's really a miracle that I made it off the plane, through customs, onto the tube and to Metrogate in the pouring rain lugging my suitcase. Walking up to Hyde Park Gate, I wasn't thinking about how many times I would repeat that simple action, or how this building was soon to become my home, but rather about how happy I was to be getting out of the wet! Everything from those first days is a blur to me. The day we strolled through Hyde Park and the Kensington neighborhood is a particularly large blur. I felt so lost and confused I couldn't help worrying that I was in over my head. In just a few short weeks, though, I had come to truly feel at home in the place that had once frightened me.

I had originally hoped to travel to as many countries as I could while I was here. Over New Years in our little remote cabin in the middle of nowhere, I poured over a guide to Europe, picking towns and sights I wanted to see while curled up next to the fire in an afghan my grandmother knitted. After getting here, though, I realized that what I really wanted to do was to thoroughly explore London. I realized that I could visit other countries any time in the future, but I would never again have a chance to spend 4 months in London, and I wanted to take advantage of that extended stay and really make myself feel like a Londoner. Every weekend I made sure to do something special, from seeing West End shows to going to museums to visiting the aquarium to wandering gardens. I'm so happy I did. I know I'll come back across the Atlantic in the near future and explore Europe, but for these brief, wonderful 4 months I was able to immerse myself in the British culture, and in doing so I really came to realize just what it means to be "American" and, well, "me."

I have never once felt homesick. There have of course been times when I have longed for the solitude of my own bedroom or the cleanliness of my own kitchen or the accessibility of my own closet, but I have never felt a real yearning to go home. I have been able to easily make myself a new home, one that includes 20 other girls and historic landmarks and bright green parrots above Hyde Park. I don't want to leave this new home of mine. I expect that in the next few months, I will be homesick for London. While I know that my Wisconsin home is waiting for me, unchanged, I know that my London home will disappear on April 22nd, with every suitcase my friends pack up and load onto a plane bound for France, Spain, or the United States.

I'm very proud of everything I was able to accomplish while I was here. I have hardly anything left to do that I haven't yet done. Hopefully today I'll be able to get a ticket to "Mamma Mia" and I'm thinking of going to see "The Lion King" for my 21st birthday next Tuesday. I'd like to take one last trip to Portobello Road, and of course I'll be out feeding my pigeons and the little robin that I've found in Hyde Park every day I can. I'll have to overload myself with curries and enough Thai food to hold me over for the summer. I'd also like to go back for a third visit to the British Library, something we did in the very first week that would make a nice bookend for this semester. Speaking of bookends, I kind of hope it rains on our last day here, mostly because it would be rather fitting, but also because I would really like to splash in every puddle on Gloucester Road one last time.

It's funny, but I realize that another "new world" is calling across the ocean. This time, though, it's the world I left 4 months ago. For the longest time, I thought of returning as "going home," but now I'm starting to see that home has become a new world. My experiences here have changed me. I'm more self-aware than ever before, and I look at the world differently. Even though I'm returning to the same place I've lived for 21 years, it's different now because I'm different. It really has become a new world, and now it's almost time to fly.

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